My friend Roy lives in Hamilton, Ohio. Perhaps I’ve mentioned him. It’s a bit north of Cincinnati or four hours south from my house. I can make the drive in like three and a half but not when towing a trailer. Let me guess Groosh, you were towing a trailer because you bought that van pictured? Ah, that’s right. It’s a 1999 VW Eurovan and I’ve always wanted a van. It was sitting on his farm for one or two years but believe it or not, it fired right up. Roy had been keeping the battery charged, mostly by disconnecting it. He also started it now and again kept it from falling into a deep crevasse of coulda, woulda, shoulda. It didn’t run well, at least down one cylinder, if not two. The exhaust must have been a bunker for mice nesting inside the van because I kept waiting for something to shoot out the tailpipe. The engine chugged, sputtered and coughed with pulses of the pedal but soldiered on just the same.
“I think the clutch is burned out,” Roy gestured at the floor mounted shifter. “It’ll drive but it doesn’t want to go.” So we can drive it? Yes, it drives. Nice. This was starting to become my new rule. Buying only running and driving projects. I’m learning my projects that don’t run and drive get shelved. Once I get them somewhere, it’s easier just to let them stay there. Being able to drive a car on a trailer or around the yard or shop is such an advantage. It’s also extra motivation for me to know there’s more light at the end of the tunnel. I put the van in drive and it crawled out of its hibernation spot. Something was wrong but it wasn’t the clutch. “It’s in 3rd gear limp mode. That’s why it doesn’t go when you step on the gas.” Oh, Roy replied. That meant it was really hard to get it up to speed. And at 55mph, which was pushing it, it felt uncomfortable. No shifting, revving a bit high, everything shaking out the cobwebs. “Let’s try to a/c” I said. “That’s doesn’t wor-” Roy chimed. “It blows cold!” I exclaimed. Without missing a beat, Roy said “price just went up.”
We drove this 90s version of the iconic VW van on back roads for about 20 minutes. Enough to realize it needed a lot of help but it wasn’t beyond repair. It had 165,000 miles, stories of being shipped to and from Germany by the previous owner, with German repair receipts, and new shocks and springs underneath. Roy, as he often does, already did some recon and put a set of 17″ V-dub rims on it but they needed new tires. I had to have it. It wasn’t a camper but it had the rear facing seats plus table and fold down rear seat to make a bed. Only one thing left to do: accept Roy’s ridiculously reasonable-can’t-say-no price and start cleaning up the mouse toilet inside. If only Roy had a couple more cats. Now, finally, I could plan my escape from suburbia to a life of all suburban amenities in a tiny box down by the river. Come on, you knew it was coming.
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